If Only...

If you only knew my..

sleepless nights

internal fights

screwed up appetites

loss of life's delights

depressed parasites

If you only could see..

my memories of pain

know how hard to explain

thoughts within my brain

I wish not to retain

but to smile again

If you could only hear..

whimpers when I cry

striving to figure out why

horrific memories I identify

the little girl trying to clarify

she's safe now, that we certify

If you could only feel..

the anger held deep within

long suppressed they've been

remembering details to begin

healing process wears me thin

just to feel safe and whole again

If only you could fathom

how hard it is for me,

to continue a path to be free,

knowing there’s no guarantee,

the lost little girl will ever see,

the mentality not to flee

© Christina M Wilmes