If Only...
If you only knew my..
sleepless nights
internal fights
screwed up appetites
loss of life's delights
depressed parasites
If you only could see..
my memories of pain
know how hard to explain
thoughts within my brain
I wish not to retain
but to smile again
If you could only hear..
whimpers when I cry
striving to figure out why
horrific memories I identify
the little girl trying to clarify
she's safe now, that we certify
If you could only feel..
the anger held deep within
long suppressed they've been
remembering details to begin
healing process wears me thin
just to feel safe and whole again
If only you could fathom
how hard it is for me,
to continue a path to be free,
knowing there’s no guarantee,
the lost little girl will ever see,
the mentality not to flee
© Christina M Wilmes